FERNFEATHER

loner

classic blue tabby-and-white tom with green eyes.

fern's appearance is simple. he is not too large, not too small. his pelt is short yet dense. his patterns are a dime a dozen though unique in blue hue. what seems to be most vivid in his looks are held captive on his face, wearing a pear of distinctive pale green eyes and a distinctive dark pink nose. he does have a little bit of a handsome face, his muzzle sharp despite its length, his jawline slick, his muscles lean, and his ears propped attractively on his head in the shape of two perfect triangles. but besides that, he is built pretty average.

in terms of the specifics of his colors, he is adorned with a blanket of dark and pale blues, falling over his head, shoulders, back, and entirely wrapping up his tail. White delicately peeks out from these clouds of blue, taking refuge on his lips, chest and paws. he also has very long, white whiskers, protruding aggressively from his muzzle.

enigmatic

fern is mysterious, choosing to reside in the shadows over mingle with cats or crowds. it is never known really what he is thinking, always sporting the most neutral of faces no matter the occasion. maybe you might get a flicker of frustration, or a subtle hint of amusement, but besides that, reading this tom is near impossible. in fact, he might know more about you than you him, for he isn't just in the shadows, he is observing from them, keen to his surroundings despite his detachment from it.


withdrawn

fern is very to himself, tending to be more quiet and never speaking his thoughts out loud. most of his dialogue is internal, only expressing his opinions to the most trustworthy of cats. he almost seems to lack emotions, he guards them so well, but in truth he is a deeply emotional cat that feels emotions quite vividly, and rather frequently. he just does not trust any cat with them, fearful of being hurt. his only spoken words are usually morbidly humorous, dark jokes his only verbal coping mechanism for serious situations besides pure silence.

pessimistic


fern has a hard time looking at the positive side of things, usually having to experience the absolute worst of a situation in order to come to terms with the brighter side of things. his low self-confidence makes it even harder for him, making it easy to be down on himself, and not believe that he can learn from his mistakes or grow as a cat. that can translate externally, making it hard to believe positively in general sometimes.

kind

although his kindness is not a trait displayed very lightly or frequently, it is one of his strongest. even in his most cruelest of moments, though, it is hard for him not to revert back to some sort of mercy. he will not kill, and he would rather put the happiness of other's ahead of his, even to a fault.

loyal/protective

there are very few who can earn the trust of fern. however, you will see a much more gentle nature if you do get close to fern, and you will also get a cat that will protect you even at the cost of his own life. fern is extremely loyal, feeling responsible for the cats he cares about, their lives and their happiness.

fernkit was born in the midst of leaf-bare, his sister foxkit being his only companion into the entering of this world. his mother, cinderfeather, had been a nurturing mother, almost too nurturing, one with many stories to tell and many worries to project. the meek kit did not mind this, though, finding his mother's careful attention comforting compared to the spitfire energy that was his sister. his mother seemed to protect him from it all. it wasn't until he had ended up growing sick with green-cough that he had his first experience with the cruelties of the world, making his kithood a blur of herbs and brief visits from his parents that always seemed to divulge into arguments. his most cruel memory wouldn't be in the medicine cat den, though, but a family outing at the sandy creek. it would be then, after one of their arguments broke up their outing, that he would realize how broken his family truly was.

fernpaw was an anxious apprentice, his unstable upbringing offering him no solid ground to stand on. luckily his mentor, Willowshine, had been patient, and as he trained hard and even had begun to make friends in Bearpaw and Oriolepaw. But his break in the comforts of normality would soon come to its conclusion when his mother confessed to her children their father's disloyalty, and worse, for all the Clan to hear. it was then he felt the true meaning of the word resentment, the true meaning of the word anger, the true meaning of the word heartbreak. blazingstorm would leave his mess behind, leave his son to take care of his mother that did not deserve it, but kindness was all he could give her anymore. he had lost trust in them both.

he would only spend more time with his mother after her sudden announcement of a new litter, and despite his mixed feelings of the situation, he found solace in the seclusion the duties brought him, shielding him from the gazes all too aware of his family drama. and he was embarrassed and ashamed by it. no, he would rather focus on the life of his siblings, granting them comforts he never had. his only other peace would be in the form of his uncle Smokestorm, confiding in his anxieties over his family and Smokestorm being a reassurance in his rants. he would refuse training during this time, leading to WIllowshine refusing him his assessment despite a promise he had made. this would only anger him, and it wouldn't be until the final battle with LichenClan that he was given his warrior name at the age of fourteen moons.

things would only get worse into his adulthood. fern would already have a shaken trust and confidence thanks to the break up of his parents. but he had other cats he was close to. like Bearpaw, right? well...fern must have felt much, much closer to him than his friend did, for when he confessed his feelings, they were not reciprocated. Well...there was another, Lionthroat...but the romance was only fleeting, only condensed to a single night during a blizzard that would not continue as warmly in the morning. When all seemed hopeless, being rejected by his only chances at a body to always come back to, he would be met with news that would only further illustrate how alone he was; his father and mentor were becoming mates and expecting kits. He wanted to be happy for Blazingstorm, for Willowshine, for their litter...but he couldn't help but feel as if, both now his mother and father were abandoning him and his sister, abandoning them as the mistakes they were, for lives that they never had with them.

and then, with the news of the tunnels spread, he decided to take an opportunity he would have never thought he would have taken. he took the escape, and left for the tunnels. but, even after his moons spent there in peace and solitude, the loneliness of his new home ate at him, and as soon as leaf-fall returned, he left, now a wandering body in deep consideration of if, maybe all along, he was a ThistleClan cat...