SHADEPAW

THISTLECLAN

SHORT HAIRED BLACK TOM WITH YELLOW EYES

Shadepaw's submissive nature shows through in the way he holds himself. He lowers his shoulders, keeps his tail close to his body, and has a small size like others in his clan. His golden eyes some times look up from the ground to meet the eyes of others. The structure of his body is rather lithe with a hint of muscle. If Shadepaw worked at it, he could build some up giving him a compact appearance.

Related to his namesake, Shadepaw doesn't have a speck of any other color than black on his pelt. It covers him from the tip of his ears to his tail end, including his toes. The main thing that stands out on his face is his bright, golden eyes. They seem to be studying or to some cats, judging others.

+Benevolent/Supportive:

Despite his mother's neglect and his father's subtle hatred, Shade still has a heart. One that yearns for acceptance and value that he never received from his family. Some times, he truly believes it will never happen. Still, he remains hopeful.

Each of his actions usually has good intentions behind it. With the Thistle clan loose view of the code, he values the well-being of individual cats over the clan. Especially Tigerpaw, who currently holds the top spot for his attachment. Even if he doesn't always agree with her methods, he will as supportive as he can.

Unknown to him, there's an old saying. The worst things can be done with the best of intentions. It might be a lesson Shade will learn one day if he's not careful.

+Selflessness/Generosity:

What Shade does is rarely for himself. It is easier to do it for others, even if his efforts fall short. As Tigerpaw has learned, she can get him to do nearly anything she wishes with a little nudge. This includes following her wherever she leads. He'll hesitate at first, but with a little push, he'll quickly move through his fears.

- Submissive/Low-self esteem:

As a kit, Shadepaw learned one thing. He both hated and sucked at fighting. His brother enjoyed the advantage he had over his more submissive littermate. Often the larger kit would pounce and bite, drawing a sharp yowl from Shadekit. This often forced an aloof Shadowfrost to force them apart then return to sleeping. This had been the most of her attention either of them had gotten. Because of this, he often avoided conflict with anyone.

This didn't endear him to his already cynical father. The older tom often praised his brother's strength then criticize Shade's 'pitiful' attempts. Eventually, he stopped trying and accepted anything he did would always fall short.

-Attachment Issues/Fear of being alone:

One of Shadepaw's biggest fears is being abandoned or left all alone. It is a scar born from his years as a kit and still plagues him as an apprentice. A weakness that Tigerpaw has used on occasion. Thankfully, she hasn't used it unless she felt it was necessary. Others might not be able to claim the same.

A storm rolled in the night Shadowfrost had her litter. The dark-furred mother mewed with each labor pain, her breath raspy and deep with each cry. She rolled in discomfort each time she tried to push her kittens into the world. During birth, her instinct screamed something was wrong. She screamed for the medicine cat, her voice drenched with desperation.

A flash of lightning erupted to illuminate the den. Her green eyes fixed on the lanky, black mackerel tom who appeared in the entrance. Ratwhisker.

The night grew long as Shadowfrost continued her struggle. Toward the end, her efforts earned her two stillborn kits, one healthy, and a runt of the litter. Upon seeing the quiet, unmoved shapes of her deceased children, Shadowfrost grew depressed. Her head turned away from the two kits suckling on her belly as she fell into slumber.

During the next few moons, Shadowfrost barely acknowledged her surroundings. Her eyes stared into space while Shade and his brother mewed pitifully for her attention. Finally, one of the older Queens had enough. She roughly gripped the largest kit then started to groom him. Next came Shadekit. The two finally calmed enough for the grumpy Queen to return to her own offspring.

For a few moons, the Queen helped a distant Shadowfrost care for her kits even if it was for selfish reasons. Time to time, Swallowtooth came into the den. Upon seeing Shade's brother, the grizzled tom beamed with pride. When his eyes narrowed on Shade, nothing but disappointment could be found.

His attitude never changed as Shade grew up. While his brother got easy praise, the runt could never match up. His attempts always fell short causing his esteem to crumble. He had just turned about four moons old when he met Tigerkit. An energetic and brazen kitten that showed him the first signs of being appreciated. Naturally, she dragged him onto numerous of adventures. Most of them highly dangerous and risky affairs for kits their ages. They also ended with one of the older cats escorting them back.

During his days in the nursery, Shade's eyes would light up whenever Ratwhisker came. Usually to monitor his mother's condition or patch a reckless kit's injury. Nothing extreme, but it still drew his attention whenever he watched the medicine cat at work. He lurked in the back as he tried to identify what the lanky tom used on each injury. Sadly, he couldn't name or remember everything he saw.

Now, about six moons later he is becoming an apprentice. He can't wait to see who he's assigned to, but a small worry tend to etch into his mind. He is worried he won't match up to their expectations.