SPRUCESHADE

THISTLECLAN

seal point male with blue eyes

Spruceshade in general is an average looking cat. He is of average height and weight. He’s slender, and isn’t a bulky cat.

His coat is soft and wispy, and thick in the areas around his chest and tail. He has seal points, though his points are dark. His face and ears are seal colored, as well as his paws and tail. His body is white, and his seal points fade abruptly where they meet his white torso.

Spruceshade’s whiskers are white, long, and curve away from his face. His nose is black, and his eyes are large and blue.

His muzzle is slightly longer, and his face is slightly angular.

Quiet; Spruceshade was always a more thoughtful cat, however during his childhood he found that no matter how much noise he made he was often overlooked. And so he retreated inward, busying himself with his thoughts. 


Thoughtful; Since he was young, Spruceshade was always a thoughtful cat. Often he is lost in his own inner dialogue, idly thinking about his day, the cats around him, and his past experiences. When faced with a moral dilemma or tough decision, he will spend hours processing and ruminating over his choices and philosophies.

Escapist; Being both thoughtful and quiet, Spruceshade prefers to spend time inside his own mind instead of in reality. He may spend many minutes or sometimes hours completely engrossed in his thoughts. He uses his free time to sit alone and reflect on himself and decisions he’s made, readjusting his moral compass and understanding himself. One might call it meditation.

Balanced; Spruceshade is neither hotheaded nor apathetic, he is a calm in-between and carefully considers his choices and actions. He is able to maintain a cool demeanor among his fire-brand clanmates.

Considerate; As a clan cat, warriors often feel a need to improve the lives of those around them. Spruceshade takes to this strongly, often enjoying daily chores and looking for ways to fulfill his part in Thistleclan and improve his clanmates’ lives as well. He is one to respect boundaries and ask what others may or may not be comfortable with, he will feel down on himself if he disrespects or crosses a line with a fellow clanmate.

Responsible; Being one who looks out for the comfort and safety of those around him, Spruceshade will do his best to keep others safe and to complete his tasks responsibly. While he may not do a job perfectly every time, he strives to keep those around him grounded and on track and also pushes himself to complete his goals.


Disciplined; While being pretty laid-back, Spruceshade attempts to hold himself to some standards. He tries his best to be a good person, make the right decisions, and to support his clan to the best of his ability. He isn’t strict, but he has the self discipline to wake up on time for patrols, bring prey back for the clan, and brush up on training every so often. He pushes himself to be a pillar of stability among his clan, as to support them all.

Submissive; Spruceshade is what one might call a follower. In moments where others would spring into action, Spruceshade often finds himself paralyzed. While he has worked over the past few years to get this under control and to understand how to think for himself, he has made a habit of it yet again in recent times. This will be something that Spruceshade will struggle with, and he will once again have to train himself to be brave.

Unconfrontational; While Spruceshade doesn’t mind engaging in physical confrontation with enemies, he struggles with emotional conflict. He doesn’t like to argue or fight with his clan mates, and may even freeze up or feel anxious if an enemy engages in emotional or verbal fighting. He likes things to go smoothly, he doesn’t like his feathers being ruffled and he doesn’t like to ruffle the feathers of those around him.

Indecisive; Spruceshade’s indecisiveness ties back to his submissiveness. He avoids making decisions that could possibly go wrong or negatively impact those around him. He likes to leave the tricky decision making to his peers, and then follow along with their plan. Like his submissiveness, this is something Spruceshade has managed to hone in the past few years, however it has recently resurfaced. Also like overcoming his submissiveness, this will also be a hurdle that Spruceshade has to leap over.

Unassuming; Spruceshade is a modest cat. He doesn’t like to boast or brag, which normally would be a good thing. However, this means he often blends into the background. This ties in with his submissive nature, his indecisiveness, and his quietness.

Childhood
Spruceshade was born with five siblings in the Thistleclan nursery, surrounded by tall pines and brittle undergrowth. His mother, Daisythorn, was a dainty cat, and was not expecting to give birth to such a large litter. She quickly became overwhelmed with the responsibility. His father, Minkfur, held steady by his lover’s side, and became an active part of his children’s lives.

He named his kitten’s after the many sturdy and beautiful trees that surrounded them.

Obviously there was Yewkit, and there was Firkit, the two tom kittens. Then there were the mollies, Cherrykit, Juniperkit, and Birchkit.

And of course, there was Sprucekit. He was a healthy newborn, not the largest but pleasantly average.

Though early on he threw fits as many children do, he would soon become a thoughtful and reserved kitten as his mind developed.

Early on in his life Sprucekit became close with his sister Birchkit, as her shyness meshed well with his quietness. 

Despite having a tight bond with sister, Sprucekit quickly developed jealous frustrations when he noticed that his mother seemed to shower Birchkit with love and attention. Without the skills to properly communicate these frustrations, they fermented into secret animosity, something which he would hide deep within himself and carry with him for seasons to come.

With all of her children, spreading her attention evenly was nearly impossible for Daisythorn.

As a young kitten, Sprucekit felt his mother ignored him, or simply overlooked him. Overtime, this would fester into a feverish resentment towards his mother.

Sprucekit bonded tightly with his father. Minkfur was patient with him, kind and encouraging, and seemingly never judgemental of Sprucekit’s strange traits. He felt his father understood him.

Unfortunately for Sprucekit, Minkfur had to devote his time to his five other children as well. Sprucekit felt frustrated when his father would spend time with the other kittens, and wished he would get more attention.

At six months of age, Sprucekit and all of his siblings were made apprentices.


Adolescence
Now that he had become an apprentice, he began to thoroughly distance himself from his mother. He thought he had gotten over his desperate wanting of her attention, in reality he had distanced himself as an attempt to avoid the problem and avoid disappointing her.

After a few months of training with his mentor, a gang of foxes bombarded the Thistleclan camp. This would be Sprucepaw’s first battle, done were the days of sparring with his mentor in mock battles with no fear, and coming were the days of risking his life in dangerous combat. Sprucepaw was startled and confused at first, and very fearful.

As the foxes rushed in, an individual broke off and stormed the nursery, where a fearful mother was protecting her kitten. The apprentice froze, but Yewpaw’s encouraging and commanding voice quickly snapped Sprucepaw into action. This is when Sprucepaw would discover that he was a follower, not a leader, and needed direction in times of crisis.

Sprucepaw and Firpaw were led by Yewpaw into the nursery, and drove out the fox after a few moments of intense scuffling.

Once the threat was gone, Sprucepaw did not take it upon himself to check the mother or kittens, instead leading this to Yewpaw who seemed to be taking charge of the situation.

Later that day Sprucepaw learned a kitten was killed, and that Yewpaw had overlooked this when checking on them.

Sprucepaw took a long time to think very hard about this. He felt conflicted.

On one hand, he had been able to help and act quickly because he surrendered decision making to his brother, but on the other surrendering control to Yewpaw had resulted in the death of the kitten.

Sprucepaw decided that the kitten would have lived if he had managed to take control of the situation, and if he had been thinking for himself instead of mindlessly following Yewpaw, he would’ve thought to check on the kitten.

This bothered Sprucepaw, who would spend many months of his apprenticeship training rigorously to unlearn his habit of freezing up when in dire conflict. Him and his mentor would practice crisis situations, and eventually Sprucepaw would learn when to follow orders and when to take action on his own.

Every few days after the death of the kitten, Sprucepaw would sneak a single pretty flower or herb to the mother and leave it in the entrance of the nursery, as his way of vowing he would do better as a soon-to-be warrior and would remember the kitten, without revealing himself directly.

When the mother’s surviving kittens became apprentices and she left the nursery, and Sprucepaw had taught himself to fight instead of freeze, he would release this ritual of gifting flowers and finally forgive himself. He carries the memory of this small deceased kitten with him nearly every day, and draws inspiration from the event to motivate himself to learn new and helpful skills as well as to break bad habits. For a cat who doesn't believe in Starclan, living in a clan devoid of worship, the death of that kitten serves as his moral compass or sense of honor and good deeds.

After some time, the young cat would become a warrior and was named Spruceshade, with his leader deciding the title fit him due to his calm demeanor and ability to cool his clanmates down in times of extreme heat.


Early Adulthood
Shortly after completing his warrior ceremony, Thistleclan would be struck with greencough, and Spruceshade’s mother would fall ill, and eventually die.

Spruceshade felt angry when his mother died, angry that after he had become a warrior and proven himself, she still didn't seem to show him as much attention as his siblings, and then she simply died and now would never show him that attention he craved. And sadly, due to distancing himself during his apprenticeship, Spruceshade missed the chance to reconnect with her.

After her death, he became very internally angry.

Before he could begin to deal with his mother’s death, Spruceshade was plunged into a skirmish alongside his sister Cherrybite and his brother Yewthorn, as they desperately attempted to protect Minkfur. By the end, Minkfur was dead.

Spruceshade was crushed, he felt that the only person who understood him and actually cared to devote attention to him was now dead.

He kept his sadness inside for many days after, but on a cold night he sat in the bitter air and released his sorrow, crying loud. He screamed to the moon, no longer fearful of whether or not his clanmates would hear. Through his blurry eyes, he looked up to the foggy sky and a single star peered through, glowing brighter than the rest. Though he wasn't religious, Spruceshade was reminded of the young kitten who had motivated him through so much and pushed him each day to do better than he did the day before.

As the fog cleared and the star became more visible, so too did his mind clear. In his heart, he released his anger at his mother, his resentment for her seemingly having not cared enough about him to be proud, and released his jealousy over his father.

He realized that holding onto these feelings would not, and never have, served him.

They had only hindered him, and so each day forward from this night he would work on letting go of his resentment and frustrations towards his parents, bit by bit.

By the next month, he felt better, and death became less scary for Spruceshade. While Yewthorn fell into a pit of depression, Spruceshade finally began to thrive and become who he truly was deep down.

He stopped avoiding conversations of grief with Birchsong, and began to open up to her about the terrible feelings he had for his parents, and his jealousy and hatred towards her when they were little. Once again, he felt he had reconnected with his best friend, and was thankful to have Birchsong by his side.

Spruceshade didn't judge his brother for his promiscuous choices, and felt some frustration at his other siblings for ignoring Yewthorn all together. He didn’t believe something so superficial and so not-indicative of a cat’s character and moral should be reason to never speak to your sibling again.

He could tell in some ways it hurt Yewthorn, and made him feel ashamed, so he tried to provide a safe space where Yewthorn could just be himself- warts and all. 

Slowly, Spruceshade was rebuilding many connections he had lost in the chaotic mist of his childhood, and this brought him happiness.

Though Spruceshade found an abundance of happiness that summer, things would come crashing down once again when the forest began to turn brown and cold. Rogues are running rampant in Thistleclan territory, causing high tensions in the Thistleclan government. Their medicine cats were barred from the moon-cave. Everyone was feeling the stress, and it felt like things would be taking a wrong turn very soon. 

Soon, cats were losing their lives in battle, and his leader seemed to become erratic. The deputy stepped down, and to Spruceshade’s surprise Firfoot was made deputy. For once, Spruceshade didn’t envy him in the slightest.

Soon a flood then devastated Thistleclan. Their camp was destroyed, lives were lost, and by the end Firfoot was dead. The moment Spruceshade learned, he seemed to shut down and he felt drained of hope.

Life was not what it had once been. 

Spruceshade had no more trust in his leader or the system of government that guided them. They were washed from their home, the look of horror painted on nearly every warrior’s face. Like a ghost, Spruceshade followed once again behind Yewthorn. He didn’t desire to think for himself anymore, for it had become too much of a burden. For the first time in many seasons, the bright star that once guided him seemed to become dull in the sky, and he no longer looked towards it for the memory of the dead kitten that had previously given him so much strength.

With the start of the new year, that star might once again shine bright for Spruceshade. But not yet.